A Confession ...

As far as I can remember Annabel was our first dog.
She was very loyal especially to my dad.
I can't remember how long Annabel stayed with us.
We still lived in Camp Aguinaldo then, my dad was a soldier.
Everytime my dad goes away for a mission, Anabel was left with us.
And everytime my father comes home from a tiring mission, Anabel joins us in welcoming him.
I remove my daddy's shoes and socks, my sister fetches his slippers and Anabel stays wherever my dad goes and waits for a pat on the head.

There was a very old lady who sells sweepstakes in our neigborhood. She's almost blind. She can barely walk. She's about 70 or 80 years old at that time.
When I see her in my dad's office selling sweepstakes tickets, I sometimes ask my dad for 10 or 20 bucks to buy from her out of pity.

You see my parents are separated.
That time was the peak of their separation to the point that they asked us which parent to choose to live with.
Being young at that time, I was told (by other family members)to choose my mother since she has more money enough to raise both me and my sister.
Mom was a nurse and dad was only a soldier they said.
I chose mommy, and my sister too chose the same.

For a time, we lived in San Mateo Rizal and my dad was left in Camp Aguinaldo to live alone.
He's still working so he still goes on missions once in a while.

I only get to visit him every week.
I almost forgot about Anabel. One time while visiting my dad in his office, I asked about Anabel and how she was.
My father wasn't the one who answered my question. I can't remember who but I was told she was already dead.
Story was, she bit the old lady who sells sweepstakes while passing by our house.
My grandmother paid for her hospitalization since according to the story, she was bleeding all over.
My dad wasn't there when this happened.
I felt sad for the old lady at the same time Anabel too.
I can't imagine how that old lady looked like at that time, given her very old age.
I wasn't told how Anabel died, but I heard she was shot.

---

Years passed by and my Mom's boyfriend gave me a pup.
I named him Mickey. Mickey mouse was my favorite disney character at that time thus the Mickey name.
I loved that dog.
There came a time that Mom had to go overseas again for work.
We were given back to my dad.
We lived in Camp Aguinaldo again with daddy.
At that age, I thought my dad will despise Mickey since he came from my mom's lover.
But he didn't he loved Mickey like I did.
I was in grade 2 then. Before grade 3, I was sent to Zamboanga for summer vacation.
I spent the summer there and decided to study there. They let me.
I only lasted the first quarter of the school year, since I got homesick. I missed my dad so much, I was crying every night.
Every two weeks I get to talk to my dad. My relatives there always bring me to Villamor Airbase to wait for my dad's call.
Then one time we talked, I was crying, I asked my dad to get me.
The following day, he was there.
A week passed by and I was home. I returned to my old school to continue the rest of the school year.
I saw Mickey again.
The school service always drops me off at gate six in Camp Aguinaldo. I then call for my dad from the guardhouse and he fetches me there.
The first time I was dropped off there, I saw my dad on a mountain bike with a seat ready for me at the back.
Mickey was running after him.
I was so surprised and excited. I asked my father, howcome Mickey was there. He told me "He followed me". I couldn't believe him.
I thought that he just transferred Mickey in the office so he could watch him better when he's not home.
Evidence came when after spending time at dad's office we went home.
Riding at the back of the mountain bike, Mickey was following us until we came home.
And even when dad has to go far away, Mickey would still follow him. At times like that, I always get Mickey and distract him so he doesn't see daddy go.
Everyday was like this. I was happy and proud of our dog Mickey.

Grade 4, we transferred to San Mateo again. My dad just retired from being a soldier and was offered a job in Kuwait.
A dangerous job of sweeping off landmines left from the last Gulf war.
Me and my sister were left with our grandparents to take care of us.

Mickey became fierce. He kept on barking at people and was only nice to me.
If he gets out he doesn't jump onto people and tear them apart. He'll just bark and then stop when something else catches his attention.
Most of our neighbors were afraid of him.
One day, I came home from school.
My tito's were at home with ropes around their hands which built up confusion in my head. My grandma was looking worried.
They told me Mickey bit Aling Gloria, one of our neighbors.
My grandma told them that they will pay for Aling Gloria's hospitalization fees and they need not to worry about rabies because Mickey has anti rabies shots.
They refused to accept that and wanted Mickey dead.
My tito's were trying to get Mickey when I arrived. But since my dad was gone and Mickey was only nice to me, they couldn't get a hold of him.
They were trying to capture him to kill him before I arrived home. But they can't get him, afraid they would also be bitten.
I'm the only one Mickey trusts and he always comes to my every call, so they asked me to tie the rope around Mickey's neck.
I refused, I didn't want to be an accesory to my dog's death.
They scolded me and so I gave in to their command.
I tied the rope around Mickey's neck.
They pulled the rope and struck a knife into Mickey's neck. Blood was gushing out of it. Mickey got loose and ran at the back of our house.
I ran too, I went to the room where I can see him.
Looking at the window, tears fell down my eyes as I saw him screaming and squirming with pain. I was also screaming, but I couldn't undo what I had done. My memories of him flashed in my mind.
The first trip from San Mateo to Camp Aguinaldo, we were using a 6 by 6 military truck to transfer some furniture and Mickey was sitting underneath my seat with puke all over.
The everyday rides to and from my dad's office.
The exhausting runs from one place to another, Mickey was an excellent runner.
His face with his toungue out while running after us. You would see he's tired but he's very persistent, he still looks like he's smiling.
My dog was slowly fading away. I couldn't take anymore of it and so I went to my room crying the night away. I didn't want to know where they will take Mickey.
I just knew that he was pobably dead at that time.
As I write this story, tears are falling from my eyes.
I just came to realize that I didn't totally got over Mickey's death. I felt responsible for it.

A few months after, news about my dad came. He got into an accident in Kuwait. He stepped on a landmine and lost his left leg.
My relatives waited a few months before telling us. According to them, this was how dad wanted it to be. He didn't want us to worry. So my grandparents waited a few months until dad recovered in the hospital before they told us sisters.
A few weeks later my dad was home.
He learned about Mickey, and he said, Mickey wouldn't have died if he was here.
I thought so too. I failed as a master and friend to Mickey. I let him die.

He's the most loyal dog my family ever had. Of course Anabel too.
But i grew up with Mickey and his the closest to my heart.
I read that "How could you" letter and it reminded me of Mickey's death.
They wouldn't have been able to kill Mickey if it weren't for me.
Back then, when I called Mickey, he hurreidly came to me. He was probably asking me for help.
Telling me "Please help me, these guys are trying to kill me."
But I instead tied the rope around his neck. Making it easier for them to capture him.
I betrayed Mickey.

If I could only turn back time, I would have done otherwise.
This is a confession I make, that I was once a cruel master who let her most loyal friend die.
Please don't hate me as I already hate myself so much for what I've done.

	Author	Topic: A Confession ... (Read 513 times)
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